4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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