It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
