Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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