The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
