Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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