as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
