the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
