Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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