oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Small penises have feelings too.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
