how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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