Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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