We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
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