We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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