We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
