shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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