where am i from again
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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