i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Randomize
