Walk of Shame. In a state park.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Im just a social blackout drinker.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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