thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
