hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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