At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
