wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I have feelings that need drinking.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
