Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
