ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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