tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
