I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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