i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
