If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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