Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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