I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
