Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
