its not stalking. its research.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
