I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
