LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Randomize
