East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
You're like the curious george of whores
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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