just come out here and I will go home with you...
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
