Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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