See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
