Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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