he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
