There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
3 2 1 whiskey
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
