you traded sex for a burrito?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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