so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
