first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
