Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
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