I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
My ATM looks so different sober.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize