I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
