her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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