talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
did i just pee glitter
The Olympian is in my bed
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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