I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
