I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
bring money and cleavage
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
