her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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