you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize