I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
