the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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