Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
even my farts smell like vagina
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
