What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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