He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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