420 ftw
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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