Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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