Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
