I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i just google imaged poop.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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