i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Randomize
