There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
